


Your Worst Nightmare

by EvertheOptimistWaywardAF



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death In Dream, Everyone is Dead, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Torture, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24155695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF/pseuds/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF
Summary: Chuck gives Dean an ultimatum and shows him a possible future where everyone's worst fears have been realized.Set soon after 15x13 Destiny's Child
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Sam and Jack were sitting on the steps, quietly talking. Dean watched them, smiling softly, still not sure how to feel now that Jack was home… for real, this time. Sam gently touched Jack’s shoulder and Jack embraced Sam, hugging him tightly, tears falling down his cheeks. Sam brushed away some of Jack’s tears as they sat back, a feeling of closure settling around them, both of them relaxing. They both had been forgiven.  
Dean pretended that he hadn’t been watching them, quickly rushing out of sight and into the nearest file room. He watched Jack past the door, running off to talk to Cas. Sam paused in front of the file room and smiled.  
“Dean, I saw you,” Sam said. Dean sighed.  
“I’m glad that the two of you made up. I was just watching… to make sure it went alright. Nobody freaked out, at least.”  
“Jack has been surprisingly calm,” Sam said. “I’m worried that he’s blaming himself for everything.”  
“We can talk to him again if we need to,” Dean said. Sam sighed, rubbing his thumb into the palm of his left hand. Dean touched his arm. “Hey, if you need to talk too, I’m here for you.”  
“I’m alright. I just… it’s like Jack is living my life over again, but at breakneck speed,” Sam said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It brings back some memories… of him.”  
“You don’t talk about him,” Dean said. Sam pressed his thumb into his palm so hard that it almost looked painful.  
“If I spend my time thinking about what I’ve been through, I won’t see what’s right ahead of me,” Sam said. “I never want to think about… the past, if I can help it. I’m happy to be here, right now, with my family.”  
“Sam, if you need somebody to listen, I’m here. I can’t fully understand what he put you through, even if I try. In the past, I’ve been a dick about this but honestly… if you ever need time away, it’s cool,” Dean said. “You’re my brother, Sam. I don’t want to see you suffer.”  
“I’m not suffering. I’m with my family,” Sam smiled. Dean watched him walk away, a small curve at the end of his lip. He always wanted to be as strong as Sam… but now he was starting to realize that Sam’s strength wouldn’t last forever. Dean had always wanted more control over his anger. He wanted to put it in a bottle and hold a strong exterior like Sam, who almost never flinched. Now Sam seemed like a boiling pot of water a few seconds from going over, with a painted facade of a calm, brave leader. Ever since Sam attacked Nick… Dean had realized that they were both emotional. Sam was just better at controlling it.  
Dean laid in bed, listening to his music at top volume. The golden light of the hallway expanded across his room and he sat up, blinking. He pulled his headphones down, watching a tired, dark haired man walk into his room.  
“Hey, Cas.”  
“Oh. Sorry. I thought you were asleep,” Cas said, turning a light red. Dean smiled. “I should have heard your music. It is very loud.”  
“No, dude, it’s fine,” Dean said, pausing his cassette. “How’s Jack doing?”  
“He was less distraught today,” Cas said. “He misses you. You’re avoiding him.”  
“Oh. I wasn’t avoiding him because… I was just… I’m not sure if I can handle talking to him. I can barely control myself. I’m afraid that I’m going to say or do something that scares him. He’s barely keeping it together. I don’t want to screw it up.”  
“Dean, he loves you,” Cas said softly. Dean smiled half-heartedly.  
“That’s why I can’t face him,” Dean sighed. “Jack takes everything to heart. Every single word I say to him is hit or miss on how he feels. Sam and you always have the right words for him. It’s like the two of you somehow know what he’s thinking.”  
“You can’t hurt him with the truth any more than what he believes to true already,” Cas said. Dean nodded, fidgeting with his headphones.  
“Cas… why did you stay?”  
“Hm?”  
“We hurt the child you swore an oath to protect. I treated you like crap for defending him. You tried to take a bullet for him. But you came back.”  
“I’m a guardian angel. It’s my job.”  
“You were Jack’s guardian angel.”  
“I was your’s first. It’s what Jack… the real Jack, the Jack that we have here, now… it’s what he wanted. He would’ve been so upset to see us torn apart. It also helped that we have the same goal… and… I lied to you back then, but I heard your prayer. That’s why I came back.”  
“No matter how crappy I am, you always come back.”  
“I called you a hollow shell of a man once.”  
“Yeah, you were a dick when we first met.”  
“I’m glad I’m less of a dick now,” Cas smiled. “I’m sorry for intruding. Goodnight, Dean.”  
“Goodnight, Cas,” Dean said. Cas shut the door. 

Dean woke up in a haze. At first he was wondering if he had been drinking last night and had somehow blanked it out, but he didn’t remember even having a beer yesterday. He had been trying not to drink anywhere near Jack, and he had spent the entire day in the bunker, so even as he stared longingly at the whiskey in the cubbord, he hadn’t had any. His next conclusion was that something was wrong with his eyesight. He blinked. No… that wasn’t it. Dean sat up and realized that the haze was, in fact, a literal haze. Smoke floated around the celing, casting a white, fuzzy image of his surroundings. His bed was missing everything but the mattress and even that was covered in a fine layer of dust.  
Dean rushed out into the hallway in a panic, fear blinding all of his senses. He raced toward the sound of the fire, trying to hear any sound of the others. He rushed into the war room where a bonfire sat, the books in a pile at the center of the room, thrown there hastily as if someone had done it suddenly. The fire had only recently started, not having taken over the entire mound of items quite yet. Dean noticed that most of his clothes seemed to be in there, as well as a lot of Sam’s and Jack’s things… including Jack’s picture of his mom, Sam’s journal… it was already burning. Dean swore, trying to pull things out to safety, and realizing that his plan wouldn’t work. He raced to the showers and slid buckets under the facuets. He paced as they filled up so slowly that he almost thought they could be taunting him.  
He grabbed the buckets and raced toward the fire but by then, the smoke had turned grey. Dean threw the water onto the flames. It was too late. The floor had caught fire. Dean felt his feet giving away, his knees growing weak. He fell forward, his head smacking a glass frame as the smoke became thicker around him. He stared upward into the grey. Wow. So this is how the legendary Dean Winchester would kick the bucket? Dying of smoke inhalation for no damn reason. 

“Dean, wake up,” A voice said sharply. “I mean… don’t wake up. That would be inconvient for me.”  
“Who…” Dean felt his heart skip, a sudden cold shock of fear and anger spiking in him. “YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO?!”  
“Alright, Dean… you need to calm down,” Chuck said. He crossed his arms, looking down at Dean from above, his sliver stroked beard revealing a smirk. “Everything is alright. Nothing really caught fire. At least… it hasn’t, yet.”  
“Chuck, if you-”  
“Your family is perfectly safe and sound… and asleep... back in 2020,” Chuck said. “Let me talk, would you?”  
“You know…”  
“About Jack? Yes. I was surprised you were so accepting of him after what he did.”  
“After what YOU did. You did this to us!”  
“Alright, enough shifting blame. You’re dreaming right now. I’m not here. You passed out from smoke inhalation a few hours ago,” Chuck said. “Don’t worry, you’re in safe hands. I wanted to take you on a little journey into a possible future. I got this idea from Zachariah and it worked so well on Sam that I wanted to try it out on you. Now, Zach took you to the End. I’m taking you to… one of many possible futures. It’s a pick your own adventure but with me as the one who gets to pick. I’ve got a question for you, Dean. Is Jack really worth all this?”  
“What?”  
“Well, I was thinking… I’m not a big fan of him and I want him out of my story. However, I know that killing him isn’t going to stick and I’m not planning on chucking him in the Cage so I was hoping that you would get rid of him for me.”  
“No way in hell, Chuck!”  
“I’ll give you a good reason, Dean. You see, when you wake up from this dream you’re going to get a choice. Send Jack away or you get to have what I’m about to show you. You can opt out right now, wake up, and send him away… or you can sit through this little presentation of what I’m going to do to your family.”  
“I don’t need to see it because I already know I’m going to say no,” Dean said. Chuck laughed. “I won’t play your game, you bastard!”  
“You have to. I’m in charge here,” Chuck said. He lifted his hand, placing his thumb and index together.  
Snap.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean jolted awake once again, this time in a dirty cabin. He was tucked in a blanket on a small, unstable bed. He stood up, his legs shaking. He couldn’t remember how he had gotten here. The cabin door opened and a hooded stranger appeared. Dean blinked slowly.  
“Kaia?”   
“Kaia?” A gruff man’s voice replied. “Dean, really? I’m both wider and taller than her.”   
“Cas?” Dean asked. The stranger pulled his hood down to reveal the owner of the voice. His blue eyes were intense as always, a new white scar tracing diagonally across his face. His hair was completely silver now. He looked almost gaunt, the color of his skin desaturated. He gave Dean a huff and slammed a fish down on the counter. “You aged.”  
“You’re Dean from years ago,” Cas said. “Only you would be stupid enough to get in a fire. You should have known better.”  
“What happened to the Bunker? Who did this?”  
“I did,” Cas said. Dean stared at him. Cas began skinning the fish.   
“Could you elaborate?”  
“I had to destroy everything. The Bunker wasn’t safe anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time, but I just got back to burn it before the enemy got to it.”   
“You burned Sam’s journal! That was so important to us!”  
“Dean… everything is fair game in war,” Cas said. He turned the facuet. “Sorry that you got caught up in this. Who sent you here?”  
“Chuck.”  
“Oh,” Cas laughed bitterly. “I haven’t heard that name in years.”  
“Why not?”  
“You came back to us that morning and told us that Chuck had tried to make a deal with you but you said no. He went along with what he said he’d do. We ended up here. Haven’t seen him since, no matter how many times I tried to get him to listen.”  
“He wants Jack gone.”  
“It would be so much better than what Chuck did to us.”  
“I can’t believe you would say that. We just got Jack back, and you want me to send him away-”  
“Lucifer.”  
“What? No… no, why would Chuck bring Lucifer back?”  
“Because you said no,” Cas said. His eyes seemed to burn as he looked at Dean, the face of somebody who was just repressing hatred. “Do you want me to give you exposition or should I just let you figure it out?”  
“Where are Sam and Jack?”  
“Exposition, then. They’re gone.”  
“No-”  
“I think Chuck wanted you to suffer. You didn’t die until year two. I had to leave your body. I couldn’t give you a funeral.”   
“That doesn’t make sense-”  
“Lucifer has been after the Bunker for a while… actually, for the past thirteen years. He wanted a spell so I destroyed everything… just to be certain.”  
“Thirteen years-”  
“Yeah, since the day you let Lucifer come back.”  
“No… Chuck is showing me this because he wants me to be afraid.”  
“At least he’s giving you a chance. I hope you use it,” Cas said. He flipped the fish over, skinning the other side. “When you told us what you saw… we thought we could face whatever Chuck threw at us. Then… it hit us. Lucifer came back with a revenge plan. He sought Sam out first. Sam knew it was coming. Lucifer promised to come back for Jack, so Jack used the equalizer and shot himself in the head. You were always right about Jack. He thought everything was his fault. He even wrote a note, talking about how much he loved us, that it wasn’t our fault. That’s when the two of us started fighting. We stuck together until you died. You tried to stop Lucifer. You failed.”   
“Cas…”   
“I remember holding Jack’s body...”   
“Cas, I know it’s too late but this is one possible future out of many.”  
“A future you ensured,” Cas spat. Dean felt a pressing on his chest. He wanted to scream. He wanted to stop Cas from saying that. He wanted to unhear everything he had just heard. He wanted to go home and see Sam… alive, well, and happy. Sam had been fine just an hour ago. This couldn’t be real.   
“Let me help you. Let’s kill Lucifer,” Dean said. Cas turned around and stared at him, his eyes piercing Dean’s with disbelief and anger.   
“Why?”  
“Justice.”  
“Dean, there’s no justice in killing Lucifer. It’s not worth it.”   
“I’m going to do it alone or with you,” Dean said. Cas shook his head. “What do you have left to loose, Cas?”  
“My life. Lucifer left me alive to deal with my failure. He even… he even lets me…” Cas shook his head. “Dean, this won’t bring them back.”  
“I’m going to prove to you that there’s still hope,” Dean said. “Help me kill him.”  
“You don’t even have the archangel blade… and you’re not an archangel.”  
“All we need to do is take away his grace,” Dean said. “Please, Cas.”  
“Fine. I’ll help you. When I die, you go back and undo this, alright? I’m not going to do this for nothing.”   
“We can do this,” Dean said. “I know it.”

“Lucifer’s weakness?” Cas laughed.   
“You know him better than me. Even this version. You talk, don’t you?”  
“He only comes to gloat,” Cas said.   
“What does he gloat about?”  
“I do know a weakness he has. There’s a garden… in Kansas city. There’s a change in security around the garden at noon. If we hit them right before that, they’ll be bored and tired- demons are like that- and we may have a chance. Lucifer has lessened his security over the years so we only have to get past about ten demons before we can get into the garden.”   
“It sounds like you’ve thought about this.”  
“There’s a demon that’s always guarding it- we take her out, and we can take it and negotiate with Lucifer. We can get him to give us grace in exchange for his Macguffin alive and then we can kill him.”  
“Alive?! It’s not a…”  
“It’s a person,” Cas said nonchalantly. “This is war. What do you say?”  
“Why wouldn’t Lucifer just kill us? Would he really do that for… this person?”  
“He’s very protective of it.”  
“Why do you call them an it?”  
“It’s not… it doesn’t matter. You’ll see,” Cas said.   
“It just seems like you’re an ass,” Dean said. Cas clenched his jaw.  
“Calling it… a thing… makes it easier for me,” Cas said. “I’m not incompassionate, Dean. I just don’t want to think about… it.”   
“Fine. Let’s get the Macguffin.”


	3. Chapter 3

“That’s one hell of a garden,” Dean said. He looked up at Cas, who was scaling a nearby tree. “Are you sure that’s the smart way?”  
“Less demon interaction, the better off we are,” Cas said. Dean pulled himself up after Cas, climbing up onto a low building. Cas walked low to the roof as they passed a demon on the ground. “This is the closest building to the garden so it’s the easiest way to get inside undetected.”  
“Alright. You’re the leader.”  
“Shush,” Cas muttered. He vanished over the side of the wall. Dean peered over to see Cas dropping to the ground from a tree. Dean looked over the garden. There was a giangantic metal wall between everything else and the garden. Barbed wire raked the top, all the way around, a major threat to anyone who would dare enter. The nearest wall was up to Dean’s knees, even on a two story building. Cas had jumped over with grace but Dean felt a little more hesitant about jumping. He backed up and took a running leap. His jeans snagged on the barbed wire and for a second he thought he was done for, until he felt his hand smack the bark of the tree. He slid down until he caught hold of a branch, still a long way down from where he was. He felt dizzy.   
“Hurry up,” Cas’s voice came from below. Dean swallowed hard, ignoring the bleeding cuts on his hands and climbed down. As soon as his feet touched the ground, Cas was off.   
“How do you know exactly where you’re going?”  
“I’ve been here before,” Cas said. “I’ve scaled out every part of the garden.”  
“This is where Lucifer keeps his flowers, huh?”  
“It also serves as a guarded place for him to go outside without getting shot,” Cas said, stepping over leafy plants. “Lucifer isn’t a well loved face around the hunters. It also helps him out to have all of the plant life in a few thousand miles. The people rely on him for food- at least, those who don’t hunt and fish like me.”   
“What happens if somebody gets caught stealing?”  
“They’re killed on the spot,” Cas said. “It’s a major crime to enter this area without Lucifer’s permission. You’ll see why when we get to where we’re going.”  
“Does the Macguffin have a name?” Dean asked. Cas shook his head.   
“It doesn’t answer to a name,” Cas said.   
“Do I know them?” Dean said. He had a sinking feeling that Cas was avoiding the truth. Cas merely looked back at him, a sad look in his eyes- almost not preferrable to Cas’s anger- and kept moving forward. Finally, Cas stopped. There was a clearing filled with flowers- more specifically, roses. A woman stood at the edge of the clearing, looking at her nails. She was wearing a nurses outfit and scrubs, her hair styled carefully with heavy eyeshadow unlike any nurse Dean had ever seen.   
“Take care of her,” Cas said. He snuck away. Dean sighed and stalked up to the nurse. She seemed to sense something was wrong and put her hands down, looking around. She didn’t see him and she quickly walked into the rose bushes and leaned down. Dean felt the demon blade’s handle pressed against his palm. He snuck up behind her. There was a cracking sound and she turned around, her eyes turning black. Dean ducked out of the way as she smiled widely.   
“Dean...Winchester…” She laughed manically. Dean could see Cas out of the corner of his eye, sneaking toward them. “What a pleasant surprise. I heard you were dead.”  
“Winchesters don’t stick,” Dean smiled back. He swung. She stepped out of the way and he fell into a rose bush. “Sonofa-”  
“CASTIEL!” The demon cried. “Oh, this is a day!”   
“NO!” Dean yelled, shoving the knife into her back. She stumbled, falling over, flashing out of life. Cas looked up at him, holding a large bundle in his arms… no, not a bundle. Dean could see bare feet… small for an adult, but large enough to be a teenager. Golden brown hair peaked out from under Cas’s hand. Cas seemed to know what Dean was thinking.   
“We need to leave,” Cas said, standing up. The teenager in his arms was wrapped in Cas’s black coat, a white hospital gown sticking out from under it. Dean could see the wide lips and small wide nose even from the side. His eyes were closed, his hair covering part of his face, but Dean knew who it was. “Now.”


	4. Chapter 4

They both stared up at the tree.

“We’re not making it back out of here, are we?” Dean asked. Cas sighed. “Well, while we’re at it, why don’t you tell me why you lied to me?”  
“Everything I told you was the truth,” Cas said. He closed his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. “I didn’t lie. I just avoided what I didn’t want to say.”  
“You told me Jack was dead.”  
“I told you that Jack shot himself in the head,” Cas said. “I didn’t say he survived because I didn’t want to.”   
“Cas, you lied to me!”  
“SHUT UP!” Cas yelled. Suddenly, Cas vanished. He reappeared on the other side of the fence, Jack still secure in his arms. Dean blinked. “Alright, you can follow us or not. Whatever works for you.”   
“Of course I’m coming,” Dean snapped. He scaled up the tree and jumped onto the roof- almost. He slid down the side of the building and landed in a bush. “Son of a-”  
“Come on, we don’t have time. We have to get out of here.”  
“Alright,” Dean winced as he stood up. “Let’s go.” 

By the time they reached Cas’s cabin, it was dark. Cas carried Jack the whole way there, not seeming to mind the extra weight. Jack’s hand was resting on his chest but Dean didn’t hear Jack speak at all. Jack seemed to be awake but just barely, and not enough to walk on his own. Dean opened the door and helped Cas inside. Cas set Jack down on the bed, softly brushing Jack’s hair out of his face.  
“Tell me what happened,” Dean said. Cas turned, his face cold. “All of it. No lies.”  
“Thirteen years ago, you woke up from a dream. You told us that you had seen the future, that Chuck had given you a choice. I said that I would take Jack if needed, but you said that wasn’t nessecary. We all agreed that we wouldn’t send Jack away… that Jack belonged with our family. Chuck brought Lucifer back. Lucifer eventually arrived at the Bunker, without a vessel. He tortured you, me, and Sam. That’s where I got this scar. We refused to give in so he used us against each other. Finally, Sam gave Lucifer what he wanted. He said yes. We were all heartbroken and lost, except Jack. He had found the equalizer- or rather, a replica that Jack and you designed in the hope that it would work against Lucifer- and he fired it. Jack missed,  
Lucifer promised to come back for Jack, like I said, after he finished beating Sam into submission. Jack locked himself in his room for hours. We tried to talk him down, but he wouldn’t let us in. Finally, he shot himself in the head. We broke through the door and… we found him. He was barely breathing. The gun didn’t work. He was still alive.”   
Dean looked at Jack, who was sleeping, his eyelids light pink. Nothing was wrong with him. He looked exactly as Dean remembered him… from just hours ago. Jack hadn’t changed much since the last time Dean had seen him, and yet… everything had changed.   
“Lucifer arrived and took him. You staged a plan to get Jack and Sam back, but when you tried… well, they were more heavily guarded back in those days. Lucifer killed you in front of everyone to prove a point. Your death was broadcasted across the world. I haven’t heard of any rebellions since then. Nobody even dares to think about it. And he let me live, just for the spite of it. Sometimes he shows me pictures of Jack… and eight years ago Lucifer even let me go to the garden to see him. I’ve staked it out for years with the hope that I’d get to see him again. Lucifer only lets me see him when he knows it’ll hurt. Thanks to you, I get to see him again.”  
“I didn’t do much,” Dean said. “I’m surprised you didn’t do this before now.”  
“I don’t know… maybe I just didn’t realize…”  
Jack pulled his knees to his chest, looking at Cas, then at Dean. There was no recognition in his eyes, but he still smiled.   
“Hello,” Jack said softly. Dean smiled back.   
“How are you, buddy?” Dean said. Jack didn’t reply, sliding off the bed and going to the window, Cas’s black coat still draped over his shoulders. Jack placed his hand on the glass, smiling to himself.   
“Don’t feel bad. Jack’s been… like that… for a long time. I think… well, you thought that he had suffered brain damage. I heard that he’s been having seizures.”   
“I’m so sorry, kid,” Dean said. Jack turned around, looking at him. His eyes were bright and sparkly, the same kind of light that Dean remembered. It was all just slightly off. Jack’s hands hadn’t stopped twitching, shaking from time to time.   
“You can change what happens, Dean. You still have time to stop Chuck.”  
“Mistress Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?” Jack sang to himself. “Silver bells…”   
“He’s stronger than we are. I don’t… I can’t possibly know how the future will turn out but it’s better than this hell.”  
“... sing maidens all in a row…” Jack sang. Cas looked at him, a strange look in his eyes.  
“Our entire plan is hinged on us using Jack as a hostage and threatening to harm him,” Dean said. “You… you don’t see what’s wrong with that?”   
“If Jack was still aware, he would rather be dead than be Lucifer’s possession forever,” Cas said, gently stroking Jack’s hair. “We can honor his memory by making certain that Jack never goes back to Lucifer.”   
“Cas, Jack would want to live,” Dean said. Cas shook his head, pulling out a knife. Dean lunged forward, forcing the knife away from Jack, who stared at them with wide eyes.  
“Dean, don’t fight me,” Cas said. His voice was deadly and quiet. “I’m not going to harm him-”  
“You just said you would-”  
“Dean, I just need some hair. We have to send a message.” Cas said.   
“Fine, give me the knife,” Dean said. Cas reluctantly gave Dean the knife. Dean cut a few inches of hair off of Jack’s bangs. He handed the chunk of hair to Cas. Cas gave Dean a grim look and softly blew the hair out of his own hand.   
“Lucifer, let’s make a deal,” Cas muttered. Instantly, a flash of light shook the room and Cas pulled another knife out of his coat and placed it at Jack’s throat. Dean didn’t have time to shout as Lucifer appeared.   
“My son…” Lucifer said. Dean forgot, for a second, who he was looking at. Sam’s face had aged well, if at all. He looked the Sam as the Sam that Dean had seen last night before going to bed, but in a white suit. Lucifer seemed more composed than ever, his hair gelled back, his eyes commanding but showing fear. Somehow, this Lucifer seemed weaker than Dean remembered, as if Lucifer had poured so much into his appearance to make up for his fear.  
“I’m going to kill him unless we meet an agreement,” Cas said. He was holding the curved knife like he would if he was skinning a fish. Lucifer’s anxious hazel eyes darted to Dean, then back to Cas.   
“What do you want?”  
“Your grace. Cut it out.”  
“You can’t be…”  
“Now.” Cas said. Lucifer looked at the knife in Dean’s hand. He reached out for it. Dean stared at him. The Lucifer he remembered wouldn’t have ever done this, not even for Jack. “Dean, give him the knife.”  
“Fine…” Dean said. He placed the knife in Lucifer’s hand. In an instant, Dean felt the cold metal against his own throat. Lucifer’s hand gripped his shoulder.   
“Let him go or Jack dies.”  
“If Jack dies, young Dean dies. Not a problem there, huh?” Lucifer said. Dean held his breath, trying not to breathe too much and get nicked by the sharp knife right next to his skin. He felt it sting against his skin. “I don’t think this local works well. Let’s go to my mansion.”   
Lucifer snapped his fingers and Dean was blinded for a second by the glowing light. He had seen this place before. This was the home of a famous businessman. Now, Lucifer had taken over. It was shiny and clean, an absolute contrast to everything Dean had seen so far. Cas stood, one arm holding Jack, the other holding the curved knife.   
“We’re at a check mate,” Lucifer said. “If I kill Dean, he dies in his sleep thirteen years early and it’ll be your fault.”   
“You know that I don’t care,” Cas said, his teeth clenched. “I let you kill him all those years ago. I stood by and watched because I don’t have a loyalty to anyone. I’ve lost everything that made me weak. I’m willing to die. I’m willing to kill Jack. Just so I can have the satisfaction of watching you suffer the way you made me suffer.”   
“Harming Jack won’t help anyone, even if you think it will,” Lucifer said. “If you let him live, I’ll give you whatever you want.”  
“Then give me your grace,” Cas said. Lucifer hesitated. “That’s what I thought.”  
“I’ll leave Sam’s body. You can have him back,” Lucifer said. “You can have Sam. Don’t you want that? You can even have your Dean. I’ll bring him back from the dead.”   
“Your grace,” Cas said. Lucifer sighed. He let go of Dean and looked at the knife.   
“Is killing me all that you want?” Lucifer asked. “I can give you anything for my son back.”  
“I don’t give a damn what you can give me. He’s good as dead,” Cas said. Jack placed his fingers on the knife at his throat, frowning.   
“Jackie… Jackie…” Lucifer said. Jack stared at the knife, wincing. He tried to walk backwards but just pushed back farther into Cas’s arms. “Jackie, stay still.”   
“You’re running out of time,” Cas said. Lucifer closed his eyes, slicing into his own neck. There was a quiet ringing sound, a light glow coming from Lucifer’s cut. Cas let go of Jack, stepping forward. Lucifer suddenly snapped back, putting himself between Jack and Cas. “Lucifer-”  
“You hurt my baby-” Lucifer said. Jack pulled on his arm. “You- Jackie, I’m in the middle of vengance.”   
“Sammy,” Jack said. Lucifer turned red. He swung around to face Cas again. “Sammy! Sammy! Sammy! Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!”   
“Jack, shut up,” Lucifer growled. Jack tugged on his coat again. Dean grabbed Jack, pulling him away. Lucifer didn’t seem to care.  
“Sammy!” Jack said intently, pointing at Lucifer. Dean shook his head, pulling Jack further away from Cas and Lucifer. “SAMMY!”   
“Jack, shush,” Dean said. Jack stared at him, reaching out to touch his face. Dean grabbed his hand. “I love you but you need to be quiet.”   
“SAMMY! SAMMY! SAMMY!” Jack cried. Lucifer turned a deeper shade of red.  
“Has he been calling you that for long, now?” Cas asked. “Is that why you’re so willing to give up your vessel?”  
“Sam Winchester is dead,” Lucifer said. Suddenly, Jack collapsed. Lucifer turned toward Jack and Dean only to blanch in surprise as Cas made a move to cut his neck open. Lucifer sunk his knife into Cas’s stomach. Cas stumbled backward, blood staining his hands. Dean knelt beside Jack, whose eyes were closed, his body twitching. Dean didn’t know what to do, watching Jack writhe helplessly.   
“Jack… Jack…. Hey, Jack. I’m here. I’m here,” Dean said quietly. He felt everything suddenly come to the surface. It was as if everything that had happened between them was years ago, only a distant memory after everything Dean had been through. “I can’t forgive you. It’s not an easy road, kid. I’m not giving up on you either, do you hear me? Chuck… he’s trying to get us to send you away. He’s trying to hurt us. I’m not going to let that happen. None of this is gonna happen. This isn’t real, and it’ll never be real because we’re going to stop Chuck and we’re going to save you. I’m going to save you. I’ll be here, for you, because I love you. I’ll never stop feeling the pain and I know you won’t either but we can do it together, kid. Together, or not at all.”   
“Dean Winchester…” Lucifer said softly. Dean looked up. Lucifer was holding a knife over his head. “Dean… Dean… Dean…”  
“Sammy,” Dean replied. Lucifer didn’t react this time. He just smiled.   
“He’s having a seizure. He does that… you know, when he’s suffering from the gunshot. He doesn’t speak much, not more than one word at a time. He’s fricking crazy and it’s your fault, Dean.”  
“If he didn’t hate you so much, maybe he wouldn’t’ve done it,” Dean said. Lucifer’s eyes widened. Jack finally stopped twitching and his eyes slowly opened.   
“You… dare…” Lucifer’s face was red. He lifted a knife up to Dean’s face… not just any knife. The Archangel Blade. “I got this for Cas but I might as well as use it on you too. If I… If I kill you now, you never make the gun that Jack uses. You never hurt my son, ever again.”  
“We both know that I’m going to survive tonight,” Dean said. Jack stood up, trying to balance on his feet. He was still wearing Cas’s coat, his hair messy.   
“Jack, go to your room,” Lucifer said under his breath. “This is going to get messy.”  
“No,” Jack said. Lucifer turned around, staring at Jack.   
“What did you say to me?”  
“No!” Jack said. Lucifer stood up, leaving Dean on the floor. He stalked toward Jack.   
“I ask you for the simplest things,” Lucifer said, an edge to his voice. “All I want is for you to listen. I’ve never asked anything more of you.”   
“Sammy,” Jack said, reaching out. Lucifer threw the archangel blade on the floor and pushed Jack to the ground, pinning him down with his knee. Dean ran toward them, trying to push Lucifer away. Instead, Dean was thrown into the wall with a crack. He felt dizzy. He could hear Jack struggling, his screaming muffled. Dean got up, swaying, and charged again. Lucifer froze him in place this time, not even glancing at Dean as all his focus was on Jack, who was weakly clawing against Lucifer’s hands. Dean noticed the archangel blade right by his foot but couldn’t reach it… even if he could get it to Jack, he couldn’t ensure that Jack would even remember what it was or how to use it.   
“You deserve this,” Lucifer said. Jack wasn’t fighting anymore, his face pale. His mouth was slightly open, his hands on his chest, curled up. Dean watched in horror as Lucifer reached for the archangel blade and lifted it above his own head, hurtling down toward Jack’s lifeless body. As if by magic, Cas appeared out of nowhere and pushed the knife into Lucifer’s own stomach. Lucifer looked up, blood spilling out of his mouth. Cas stumbled and collapsed right there, his injury finally getting him to succumb. Lucifer fell backward, his eyes glassy… Sam’s eyes glassy… right before he burst into light. Dean closed his eyes. When it was over, he could see Sam’s soft face… it was still Sam… Sam, who had always been so strong. Sam had always been the brave one. Dean stumbled forward, looking at Cas’s lifeless body. Cas… no, that was barely Cas in the end. Dean couldn’t relate this Cas’s actions to the Cas that Dean loved. And Jack… his eyes were half-open, a glassy look to them. Somehow, Dean knew that Jack was gone. They were all gone. All because of him.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean woke up early the next morning. He felt groggy and strange. He made a coffee. Cas was up, his hair combed back, only hints of silver shining in. Cas was unusually happy this morning, which was saying something, because Cas’s base mood was usually The Pits.   
“Our family… all together,” Cas smiled as Dean pulled out the cereal. “Finally.”   
“Hey guys,” Sam said. He was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, his hair pulled back in a ponytail. “What’s up?”  
“We’re making breakfast,” Cas said helpfully. He looked at Dean, a softness in his eyes. “Would you please get Jack up? It’s cinnamon roll saturday.”   
“Sure,” Dean said. He felt as if his walking was automatic, like a robot. He walked to Jack’s room and opened the door. Jack was sleeping, tucked in to his blanket, embracing a bee plushie toy that Dean was sure Cas found at Target. He walked in and gently shook Jack’s shoulder. Jack jolted awake, pulling a knife out. Dean stepped back, his hands up. “What’re you all about this morning?”  
“I’m sorry,” Jack said, lowering the knife. “I was having a nightmare.”  
“No, it’s alright,” Dean said. “I sleep with a gun under my pillow. We’re both paranoid and irresponsible. What was your nightmare about?”  
“My father,” Jack said. Dean felt a deep pain in his chest. “I’ve been dreaming about him ever since I got back home.”  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“Not really,” Jack said, sliding out of bed. “It’s mostly just fragments of memories. I think I’ve just been thinking about him lately, with everything that’s happened.”   
“Jack, if you knew that you had to see your father again, what would you do?”  
“I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter, because you, and Sam, and Cas would be with me, right?” Jack smiled. “Why did you wake me up so early anyways?”  
“It’s Cinnamon Roll Sunday.”  
“Oh! Yay!” Jack said, padding off down the hallway. Dean stood in Jack’s room, a feeling of defeat entering his chest. He had barely spoken her name when she appeared.   
“Billie,” Dean whispered. “Help me.”  
“What happened?” Billie asked. Her eyes were dark, her hair like a halo of curls around her head.   
“Chuck knows about Jack. He’s going to hurt us if I don’t send Jack away,” Dean said. “Tell me what to do.”  
“I can’t tell you what to do. That’s not my job,” Billie said, raising an eyebrow.   
“You knew.”  
“I knew Chuck had returned. I was waiting for him to show up here,” She said.   
“You didn’t warn us.”  
“There’s nothing I could do.”  
“Billie, everyone is going to die.”  
“Is that my problem?” She asked dryly. Dean called her bluff.   
“You give a damn about Jack. You give a damn about humanity. Would you really turn away from us now? Tell me what to do.”  
“I can’t tell you, Dean. You have to make your own choices. This isn’t my story. I’m an agent of the universe, not an agent of humanity. It’s your responsibilty to make these choices.”   
“I don’t… I don’t even understand what he wants!”  
“What would an author do to maintain control of his story?”  
“Billie, I need a damn direction.”  
“Light and darkness are equal but nothing is the opposite of both,” Billie snapped. Dean stared at her.   
“Alright, I may be Tolstoy but please make this easier.”  
“What can’t answer your stupid questions and is done trying to find loopholes?”   
“Death?”  
“At least you understood that one.”  
“Fine. Give me one more riddle thing.”   
“A queen can control her subjects with a maiden. She picks flowers but they never seem to grow. She uses fear but it won’t last, as long as hope remains,” Billie said.   
“One more. This is terrible. I’m not a riddle guy.”  
“You’re pushing it, Dean.”   
“I know.”   
“Fate can show you destiny. Hope can show you faith. Only one thing can show you the future, and it’s making Death way too late.”  
“Hey!”  
“That’s it. Put it together, won’t you?” Billie said. She vanished. Dean sighed.  
“What would an author do to maintain control of his story? Destroy it.” Dean said. “Oh… or lie. Authors lie. Light and darkness are equal but nothing is the opposite of both. Nothing is the opposite of both. Alright, coming back to that one. Queen riddle thing… fear doesn’t work to keep people down as long as hope survives. Fate… oh wait, that last one was me.”   
“Dean, are you talking to yourself?” Sam asked quietly. Dean turned around. Sam was standing there, his hazel eyes watching Dean, concerned.   
“I’ve got something to tell you guys.” 

“Chuck has gotten more advanced in his traumatic future visions,” Cas said. “Dean, I don’t think Billie intended to be unhelpful. She was very straight forward in her riddles.”  
“Authors lie. I can’t figure out the second one. Chuck uses fear divide us. Only you get to choose what the future holds,” Sam said. “She’s just telling you that you should make your own decision and you shouldn’t make it based on what he showed you.”   
“Lucifer isn’t coming back. He won’t, ever,” Jack said. Everyone looked at him in surprise. Jack stood up and walked over to the table, his hands intertwined above his stomach. “We’re going to make sure of that.”  
“Jack… what if he did?”  
“Why would Chuck give us an early recipie for a story he’s going to write?” Jack asked. “He’s lying. He’s using fear and manipulation against us. Cas… he’s nothing like Cas now, here. I don’t see that future for Cas.”   
“Things change.”  
“Things also stay the same,” Jack said. “It’s your choice, Dean.”   
“Fine. Okay.” Dean said. He thought of Sam… his brother, still barely dealing with his trauma, with his flashbacks and his nightmares. Sam was the perfect poker player, remaining so cool and calm… and kind, despite what happened to him. Or maybe Sam was just kind because he actively wanted to be, not because he was hiding something. Cas, the compassionate and loyal warrior… Cas had always been on his side, had always given a damn about him, always kept fighting despite his pain. And Jack, the small, reserved kid who Dean had caught self harming three years ago. Jack, who was recovering from regaining his soul and the baggage that came with it but would rather feel everything than nothing at all. Jack was struggling every day, but he still smiled. He still laughed. “I’m calling Chuck’s bluff.”   
“Jack stays,” Sam smiled.   
“Chuck can eat my ass,” Cas said.   
“It’s kiss my ass, Cas,” Dean muttered.   
“Chuck can kiss my ass,” Cas corrected. 

“Hey, kid. I was wondering if you wanted to talk,” Dean said. Jack looked up from his computer.   
“I’m fine,” Jack said. Dean sighed.   
“I thought… I thought you…”  
“No, it’s alright. I wanted to say I’m sorry, though,” Jack said.   
“I know you’re sorry, but you also gotta know- you didn’t make that choice. You were being manipulated.”  
“I could have done something.”   
“I’m not going to say that I forgive you, and I know you don’t expect me to. Everybody out there thinks that you murdered her. Bobby is gunning for you. Sam and Cas believe you’re innocent. I know that when you look in the mirror, you still see yourself as a murderer and I know that you are putting yourself through hell about it. But when I look at you, I see a kid that’s fucked up- shit- I mean screwed up- and still can get through it. I see the same child who stood there on the shore, watching his mom’s funeral and blaming himself for her death. I see the kid that risked his life and endured torture to prove that he was worth my love even though that’s not what I ever wanted or would ever ask for. I see the kid that stood by me even when I was a piece of shit- sonofa- crap. I swear so fucking much. Shit. I’m sorry. What I mean is- you’re not innocent. You’re not a killer. You’re just a kid, and that’s how I see you. You made mistakes. I can’t forgive you for what you did, but I also don’t blame you. You were put in this terrible situation and you tried but you fucked up- UGH I MEAN SCREWED UP- do you…?”  
“I love you too,” Jack smiled.   
“Good. Okay,” Dean gave him the thumbs up.   
“I could feel sorry about how my life is. I could feel sorry about my situation. But only I get to choose what I do with what I have,” Jack said. “Thank you for being honest.”  
“Are you gonna be okay?”  
“Not right now,” Jack said. “Maybe in a few weeks.”  
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you smile.”  
“This is the first time I’ve smiled since I got my soul back,” Jack said softly. He placed his hand on his chest.   
“At least I could do something for you.”  
“You know… I don’t forgive you either,” Jack grinned. Dean blinked slowly. “Can we just agree that the past year was crap?”  
“Yes. Definitely.”   
“Good. Because I’m never going to forget how much you mean to me, despite what we went through.”   
“Whatever we do next, we do together?”   
“Always.”


End file.
